Days are made of Dreams....

2004-08-19T11:17:00.000+08:00

Blog

Its been a while since I update my blog entry dun u tink. Wat have I been up to lately
I got the slightest idea at the moment. All I noe that I have been extremely tired and lethargy got the best of me it seems the past few days.
At work nothing much activity is going on the same old stuff.

I guess its my lack of having proper sleep. Usual my mum is in the ‘state’ again. She is losing weight.
Then there is some personal conflict which I usually wants to avoid but gets the better of me. How I wish…but its too late to wish for it already happen…….

Ok lar I will update again………

Btw tdy is my English oral,..wonder how I will fare this round………

2004-08-06T12:38:00.000+08:00

Dear blog

It is Friday already. What have I been doing for the last few days? The same old routine life. Home Work Home again. I got no time to update as usual at work coz under colleagues scrutiny. So I can only check and update my blog during lunch time.

My previous blog was on a Monday. Let me recap. Maybe I will update my blog once or twice a week. Depends on my mood.

Opps seems like my memory is failing.
Maybe I should start updating myself. I have been busy preparing for my studies, doing up revision notes as part of self revision. I planned for October the whole month as intensive studying. Life never gonna be easy when u try to juggle as a daughter, student, friend, colleague & being a gf. Really need to organise my schedule. So far so gd, I can cope but at times ………..i wish things could turn better…hahahah forget one more thing, being an avid reader, im pushing myself to complete reading 3 novels in one week. Im trying very hard here . Coz the book is due soon and all 3 is my fav books hehehhe…I can do it….no worries my studies will still be ongoing.

From Tuesday to Wed, nothing major happen that’s prominent enough for me to create a post for my blog.

Thursday
Things go well today at work. Not much work, able to loosen up a bit. Can even chit chat here & there. My mind is not at work but SHOPPING. Remember I got a S$150 Isetan voucher for my birthday from my notti bunch of loveable colleagues . I went shopping with my bf. Aiyoh to buy jeans/pants for me is so difficult, either the cutting is too tight or not my type or too expensive. Sigh . Why lar Isetan never include the likes of Baleno, Giordano Bossini sigh…all also branded in Isetan, when I wanna buy its like I am thinking thrice hahahaha. Im a shopaholic but not shopping blindly. I like to buy things value for money. In the end of my desired shopping list I manage to get my white handbag and a real cheap jewellery set. Real worth as they are slashing down prices until 12 Aug. I extend my joy of shopping to my bf as well. I gave him 50 percent of the voucher. He manage to get a great casio watch with that value. Seeing him happy makes me happy too . Guess what? I still have S$60 voucher have yet to be spent. Save it for later….when the need arises…though happy but an aching leg & sore blistered feet due to new show is wearing me out.

Mum & Dad
I love my parents very much…………..mum is getting better …she can cook….happy …..sleeping….Dad more independent….but more grouchy at times,….
As a daughter, I pray to GOD for the best of health…and more….

Now for some personal affairs

Dearest BF

At times he can be real sweet and all but when he starts preaching about certain stuff , he always makes me feel that im young and immature . I know when he highlight abt a point, it rings a bell to me but he keep adding more and more that sometimes I dun feel like wanted to say anything no more, then what im trying to say, he juz took little attention, juz go ahead with his rights.
I aware that this is part of discovering each other’s personality & family background at a greater height but do give me a chance where im given freedom and speech and agree with me for once.
Is it my fault again? Over reaction again? No idea dun wish to probe any further. I juz feel to share it with blog dats all. My bf has seek apologies and I accept his apologies with an open heart. The thing I like being with him is that at times he can be relenting..and able to accommodate to my temperaments…& at times its me to him…hahahahaa…..ironic isn’t it. We are opposites but magnetic forces is very strong… ..u know its more to a scientific things,…we call it magnetic field…opposites attracts…hahahha..dats why we are able to withstand for the 3 years…insyaallah for more years…..till…..only GOD knows….

Today

Office

A lot of them are on leave today yahoooooo dun feel like working feel likes wanna play hehehehe..

Ok then ...will be back soon

2004-08-02T17:44:00.000+08:00

Dear Blog

its yet another week had gone with just the blink of the eye. Sigh . What have i accomplished during the weekend? Hmmm, my agenda is to clean my wardrobe but unachieve coz im helping my elder sis clean up some of her things as she moving from her old house. so practically all the junks and her stuff at my house.
Really nothing much happened during the weekend. Just the routine kind of life on a Saturday and Sunday.

Mum's Health
She getting better & fresher but its scary to see her sleep especially when she starts to talk in her sleep. I can hear her voice change..i quickly wake her up. me being the scaredy cat

Dad
he likes to use his hp nowadays, no longer use the home phone. hahaha....excited

Me
Sigh i think my period is coming. Been behaving grouchy recently, even my colleagues & bf notice it. oopsss cancerian mood changes like the weather....

Actually i wanna share a pic in my blog entry but cannot lar...hmmm ....maybe i should keep on trying eh

2004-07-29T14:19:00.000+08:00

Dear Blog

Ive not been regularly updating my block again it seems. Well cause certain things I do not know how to express in words. I just kept in my heart for me to ponder over & over again  .
How am I going to start my blog for today’s entry Should I start with my Home? Personal BGR? Or shall I start day by day account. But there’s too much. Maybe I should just summarize.

Weekend

Stay at home on a Saturday do a lot of spring cleaning       early in the morning, went to the market to get the ingredients to cook   to welcome Wiyah’s family. So as to say really lots & lots of spring cleaning. Her family   came in the afternoon. Wiyah was spotted with a short hair cut and still looks great with slim figure and all. Lucky her…to get a great hubby too..and share with you, her baby is damn real cute. Looks a lot like the father, Ekin. Well she shares a bit of her stories as a mother, lots of responsibilities she has to bear. Ekin is still in the learning process to adapt to the baby tantrums. Well it’s a learning phase for both of them wish them well.
Sunday, Hero parents came. All turn out quite well for a while.

Weekday

Mon Thursday
Mon I was on leave. My mother sickness came back again, her fear of being alone. I got to stay home and accompany her. I stay home and pacify her ….etc Tuesday go work treat my colleagues to Siam Kitchen  , but Paul & Jack did not join us due to work commitment. Overall I think the food there is worth it for its buffet value. Yum I get to taste all the cuisine. I would recommend to my friend. Wednesday which was yesterday, I went to watch movie IRobot at Sembawang with my boyfriend. I think the movie is a typical robotics harm human kinda movie but I kinda like Will Smith now , he got this great physique and looks better than ever.
On the way back home, there’s some misunderstanding occurs between me and my boyfriend. Partly my fault for I didn’t get the message he is putting across and he raised his tone at me. Im used to people raising their tone towards me but not in public. I am after all a human with human emotions and I know the feeling of being embarrassed. I kept my cool for there is not point arguing in public and create a spectacle for ppl to witness and gossip. No way. But why I did so is because I got supporting reasons so as to why I decline to agree with his future plans. Finally he manage to see my point.
Also there is something about what his mother had said. I dont really mind because I already put in my best effort to welcome them. Again it is my fault to trigger my bf anger and patience. Maybe my biggest flaw is unable to take critism. Or I am being over sensitive. But I merely trying to tell my bf that I put in effort and hope he will give me the credit. Words of consolation. He did his part and explain to his mother and I salute him for his actions in protecting me. I really appreciate that. Then he start telling me, don’t because of that minor criticism im not going to respect his parents. Sigh. My parents brought me up equipped me with all the values of being a good human being. I wont be that bad so as to resort to not respecting his parents.
Ok till here I shall relate the whole week event that has been happening.

Personal, Self Thoughts

  Am I that bad? Am I not practicing the values that my parents equipped me with? Am I over sensitive? Or I am unable to handle criticism. What should I do to be a better human so that I can relate to everybody, my parents, my siblings, my friends or to those related to me in some way or another without being misunderstood? Or maybe I should understand people more? Maybe I did not really take what I have mentioned earlier into account all this while.
Maybe my faith is not strong enough that is why I am unable to handle obstacles and challenges.

My parents

My dad is doing better each day just that he gets easily tired.
My mother …..i thought she is getting better but she is not. When night time falls her sickness came back again, she starts scolding yelling to the wall not sleeping eating but staring into space. Early morning starts again. Why.. Blog, it really pains me to see her in such a manner. Until when is HE testing my faith. Meantime I am trying my very best to put a strong exterior. But when it happens I just couldn’t help but sit and cry and ask why did this happen. Everything happens for a reason I know. Please GOD make my mum back like before. Save her please.

I dedicate to my Mother and my Hero

Because You Love Me

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

2004-07-23T14:49:00.000+08:00

Dear blog,

Yesterday was my 23rd Birthday  . I got no time to update my blog yesterday due to no privacy, always people walking to & fro my cubicle area  . I receive lotsa well wishes from my colleagues   and 1 wish from my best friend Wiyah  .
Priscillia gave me an oriental pouch and a pink wallet as well as a card. I also received a sheepy soft toy.
Can’t wait for the buddy gang to give me the shopping voucher yeah yeah yeah im very ecstatic about it  . But it will be on the Tuesday 27th because it’s our pay day when I will give out the treat. It’s a joint venture with Christina.
Still have yet to find a location so as where to go sigh

I force my mother to sing me a birthday song, after much persuasion she did. Hahaha it sounds very funny though. But it’s the thought that counts.
Celebration? Well I went to Sembawang meeting up with my bf  . I said that he bully me on my birthday but because he knock off late from work I dun really mind. He bought me the raspberry cheesecake which im craving to have. But suddenly I got the urge to eat mee soto so we went to the food court only me eating he did not cause his stomache is already so full. Guess what he brought the handphone with him and gave it to me, I feel bad cause he is excited about the phone as well but knowing im dying to get my hands on it he gave it to me and he use the old phone. He just use it for only a week and he is willing to part from him just for me. He said that if im happy he is happy for me. Sad ….i am very touched

After that we sat down at coffeebean to eat the cheesecake, but to our dismay it has melted already haha. But I still eat it anyway. There we talked about what’s in store for us in the near future.   Insyaallah…………………

Oh yeah I forget to give credit to my niece she gave me a cute charm bracelet. Haha I force her to wrap it up. Christina my workplc kaki gave me a handmade card, though look like a Christmas card, its really nice very neat and nice colour of the card.

Home

Nothing much happened. My Kak Yan & Kak Melati came to Jurong …baby sit mother for a while. Kak Yan already wears tudung. Alhamdullilah, glad & happy for the change. Maybe next in tow….cud be my Kak Ngah…or me  ….lom lar not ready. Insyaallah when the time comes.
Kak Melati insist that my mother go her house…..hmmm seems that mother is not really keen about the idea nowadays.
Dad laks…also ok…but there is some underlying conflicts, sigh hard to say.

Personal Thoughts….

I just hope that soon I will be out of the tangled web that Im stranded in right now.
I just hope my wishes will come true…………….
I love my loved ones……always now and then……..



Today's update

Nothing much, the sales department treat me for lunch treat but jas never joins in coz she got some lunch appointment. Eat lostsa ...hehe so full now cant type much hehehe after that Sandra took us for a joy ride....she lost her way ...hahah

2004-07-21T12:31:00.000+08:00

dear blog

today is already Wednesday, mid-week. And tomorrow is my birthday  . No celebration juz a meet-up with my boyfriend  . Ha! I already knew what he wanted to give me, so tomorrow we are going to IMM to get my bicycle. He is eager about the cycling thing. He got my interest at heart  . Coz we got a big plan coming up with the cycling thing hehe. Insyaallah it will come true of what we had wished for over the years.

mother

Today my abang long picked my mum up and send her to my Kak Melati house. Guess Kak melati is so used to having my mum that she willing to wait downstairs early in the morning for her arrival. My mother…..sigh..she getting better day by day but still have frequent uninvited “visitors” in her vision meaning she still seeing things. I still can’t figure out how it happen  , I mean her condition. Maybe her next check-up need the doc to do a thorough check-up. Whenever I see her sleep I feel so peaceful so at ease for she sleeping soundly  . Then some thoughts shudder me, what if one day she never opens her eyes again to look at me  …my bf ever said to me once that I have to be prepared but to tell the truth and be honest with myself I am not ready. But if GOD is to take her, I have to be willing rite. Then life would be different without her coz I’m so immune to her naggings, tantrums etc that I will find a big chunk of my life is missing somewhere and Im aware of what is it. I juz pray for her best of health and may she stay youthful always.

Father

Dad is another pitiful sight. Sigh  . With the sickness he is facing, no one to really take cares of him like they did for my mum for they have this mind set that my dad is working and independent and able to take care of himself. How wrong they are. One thing abt my dad is that he follow the rules of what the doc have laid for him, he take oats for breakfast, wheatbread with margarine for in between lunch, but I wonder what is he taking for lunch. No one to prepare for him  . Not that I cant prepare for him but he likes fish which I’m not gd at preparing. Sigh….i pray to GOD everytime to protect my loved ones…including Dad my AYAH. Hope his brain tumour will go away yeah u can say im expecting a miracle…but who knows it will happen…

Myself

Hmmmm what can I say for myself. Im feeling very tired; yesterday night do a lot of washing   then I also prepared Pauline, my colleague a birthday card. Hope she likes it. Suzanna my old time pal ask me whether im interested in taking mak andam course for she is taking at Zul Radi Couture. Then when I ask about the cost i’m almost shocked   its abt 3k can pay in 3 installment plan. Aiyoh I can’t afford lar. So I have to forego the idea. Maybe in future after im settle with my studies, my marriage plans etc then I can sit down and think what course im taking next. I have lotsa interest in makeup but sees how.
Oh yeah I’m gonna be another year older tomorrow  . Wishes? Haha its gonna be a secret  . Not telling..even to you bloggers.
Im thinking of where im gonna treat my fellow work buddies……any suggestions? Hmmmm

2004-07-19T10:50:00.000+08:00

Dear blog,

Today is a Monday. To say “yeah”   or to say “boo”  . Anyway I still have to get the week started yeah. Unable to update my blog over the weekends coz there’s no smileycentral so no emoticons to add in my blog entries  . As im staying the weekend at my kak melati’s house I don’t dare to download smiley central, later if anything goes wrong I will get the blame. Don’t want to trouble my Kak Melati for she & her hubby Abg Nasser     had been such great host to my mum   & me   when we are there. Today im going back to my residence @ Jurong West where I belong.

Work

Oh yeah KL is back to work. After weeks nvr see her I think she looks great  . Ok lar nothing much to update.
Feel kinda lazy to go work lar …feel like going shopping heheheehe… and eating choco yum yum

i got an entry for my work place already. guess what KL ( kuailan) created a scene again.  rachel wanted to scan a doc and KL get pissed kononnya dia dah balik dari vacation sepatutnya dia yg buat ...ingat sumer org ingat ke apa sape buat apa ....ngada2 betul lar
Saturday

Nothing happens much. Just went to shop at IMM, so many goodies to look at but so little time nvr mind I will bring my mother & me there may be after my payday. Then we can shop till we drop. Haha all the accessories, you know I’m a sucker for hair & what ever accessories. Yum yum! Also I’m craving for Teriyaki burger in Giant but sadly I get none that day  . I will be back for the Teriyaki!!!

Sunday

Lazing around and watch tv. I watch the malay movie “Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam” acted by beautiful & talented Maya Karin, Eizlan, Kavitha & some others. Usual “pontianak” movie about unrest soul but Maya looks real great in the movie! Wow!

I got a huge scare. My nephew call me & say my dearest cat ran away. The moment I heard dat, I got that uneasy feeling and tears began flowing down my cheeks like cascading waterfall  …but I remain calm so as not to make my mum agitated about the news for she herself in great emotional distress. I pray to GOD and finally get some guts to tell my mum the truth about the missing cat, and we both cried.
Even my dad went searching on every floor. My thoughts starts to run wild so as to what gonna happen to my beloved cat.
Then I receive the gd news, as my dad open the door, there she is blinking her eyes at my dad, as retold to us by phone conversation, my dad cried of relief. Haha he loved the cat too….awww so sad lar…..

2004-07-16T14:29:00.000+08:00

dear blog

its another day but its the weekend yeah yeah .......hmm what to update...lotsa stuff...but now im working later lar ...i update again

hey hi im back again. today im sleeping over at my kak melati's house again yeah yeah i can play with the big fat cat again but i miss my cat very much..the other day i went back she slept at my feet till morning. awwwww

home

sad news...sigh....my dad brain tumour ...doc cant do anything about it. the day he was in a short coma ..that is the sign ....if more to come we should know wat to expect. i have always seen my dad as a strong role model...who never get sick...who knows GOD to give such a sickness on him. ...my dad!!! he still refuses to quit from his current workplc and allow my kak melati to take care of him full time...he seems rather reluctant abt the whole idea. ......but who to take care of him while we all working...he need to pay attention to his diet as well more veggies & fish. hmm...susah lar nak ckp...i understand my dad..he prefer staying in his own home...kan tak selesa tido umah org lain even though pon umah anak. entah lar...the catch now is he is not aware of his sickness, doc kept it from him scared the truth will cause him a shock for he have a poor heart as well.

hope things will get better

my mother also ...ntah lar dun noe when is she getting well....like ive said before its a time of faith & patience

weather for today

personal view

my exams coming near..and i juz browsing my school books oh my GOD..i need to do something abt that!

no new movies to catch, wanna watch King Arthur but my bf says not dat great even critics says likewise...hmm...

2004-07-15T09:00:00.000+08:00

dear blog

yet another day at work..its raining heavily today lucky my bro in law came & fetch my mom to his house therefore manage to "tumpang" hehehe..imagine wet & rainy day waiting for bus sure gonna be a big slack. save waiting time & transport $ hehehe

my boyfriend

yesterday night we went to starbucks @ holland village hahaha i guess not that worth it though the hot cocoa is nice better than coffeebean but the cheesecake is "kemut" u noe, pay so much yet so small a portion. guess wat? my bf drank double shot expresso ..served in a small glass & damn bitter too..hahaha he regret it for life i guess...not satisfied with that ...we went to delifrance ..he lar...have yet to satisfied his hunger. .
aslo he got a new mobile phone ..so secretive...he so much so CHEEKY that he even set an alarm juz to let me realise its a differ ring tone...ayang ayang....y u so cheeky....its a cool phone though...quite suits him...then when i say i also wanna buy ada ke he ask me to wait till june next year and buy .......hahaha cant really promise on that ..juz wait and see

home

today my dad went for his brain tumour check up i wonder how's the result gonna be either they gonna perform that operation on him ...or still give that medicine. I juz pray to GOD..dat my dad gonna be strong enough to face the challenge...lucky my abg joeni & kak yan accompany him...

personal

gonna sleep over at my kak melati house again ...yahoo....i can play with that fat cat again heheehe....gonna hug Fluffy again yeah yeah ....

at this moment of time ...loving my MOM & missing my one & only Noor....

2004-07-14T16:58:00.000+08:00

dear blog

yeah today i manage to add pictures to my blog...all thanks to my net pal nani...she guide me thru..thanks pal

sigh im very saddened by what my niece did..she aren't aware that we scold for her own good if anything were to happen to her yesterday..her parents will be feeling guilty..& ashamed..i hope this will be a lesson for her...

nothing much to update...today work as usual..nothing much...all ok..my mum health also gradually improving day by day ..she began to get back all her beauty sleep....insyaallah...

ok lar got to go....meeting my bf today for another nite @ coffeebean..sitting down & just talking to him...sigh...really makes me feel so missing him everytime...hahaha...but got to admit he can be pretty pain in the neck...ooppss is he reading this...sowie ayang

2004-07-13T18:33:00.000+08:00

dear blog

today is already tuesday...how time flies..i was on half day at work today due to my Malay Oral Exam. Started at 2:15. To share with you..my oral sucks big time..i hate the questions they asked me...arrghhhh but nonetheless i tried my best ...& gave my best shots....

yesterday s'thg happened between my elder sis & her son...my sis discovered he didnt go to school and wanna scold him then when wanna beat him up..he stopped my sis and ran away the whole nite. surprisingly..he appears at my Kak Melati house, thanked GOD he's save.

yesterday i went to visit my bf parents @ sembawang. seems dat his mom also concern abt my mum's health. seems like they cant wait to meet each other..hahaha the time will come...wedding bells? not to soon ..but building the relationship first

my bf's the best confidante of all times...i hope he's happy with the new job that's starting soon....

mother

her health is the same ...hmm at times seems like gets worst ....all i need & my siblings needs...patience....

last but not least ....my mom...i love u....always

2004-07-09T09:24:00.000+08:00

dear blog

i'm back again. i've got the energy to go work again. lotsa stuff have been happening to me lately without me expecting it. maybe obstacles given by GOD to test my faith & patience.
I was down with high fever on tuesday morning, so much bad that not only down with high fever of 42 deg but also comes with migraine & menstrual cramp. i tell u its the worst fever i've ever had in my entire history of 23 yrs of living. but the 2 days im home, i took the opportunity to take care of my mother, being there for her. Sigh.....though weak...i can still manage to cook for her & myself. i got to live rite. i muz be strong to face challenges rite? so there i was.
i was back to work yesterday. my colleagues was telling me how pale i look y'day even though i put slabs of make up. guess it didnt work..the disguise.
tdy i felt slightly better but still cant consume hard food for i will vomit it out. guess 2moro my appetite will be back to normal. Sigh...
Hahah also y'day my bf says that im grumpy when i'm sick...as if he juz knew me overnight..been there & done that fer almost 3 yrs already...hahaha...cute of him...well meeting him tdy...hope it will boost my energy...
as for my mum condition....only GOD knows...what she felt & wat her children felt...she still the same...talking abt the things she "sees"...i really afraid of losing her.....GOD...pls return my normal mum to me...i can't bear the sight looking her in such a state. I don't have any more tears now..to cry...but silent tears...in my heart...for i believe...GOD listens...if we pray & hope...& work it so it might be happening..........

friends...sigh...all bz wif their life...nvr actually bother to noe...juz take it nonchalantly..abt news of my mum..im very much saddened by their reaction. i saw liza the other day...she juz gave birth a mth ago to her 2nd child...i told her...and the only reaction ..."Eh?!" that's it...i understand...they got life of their own...dat's why i wanna retreat from my so called best frens...i need to do some research of what best friends really mean.....guess don't really need them...to tell u the truth blog..im one very sad person...lucky i have Noor...who stood by me...giving me all the strength...& courage to move on...i thanked GOD..for meeting him...

all i wish for...my mother..my world to be back to herself again....insyaallah..dgn keberkatan do'a....dan harapan....

sad girl.............

2004-06-29T23:45:00.000+08:00

dear blog

days have been tough for me..for my world came crushing down on me. U noe wat i mean by my world....my beloved my mum....she's been not acting herself lately....i very sad..i can't describe. how i wish for all that has happened is juz a figment of my imagination & hallucinations but it came hard as REALITY which i have to accept.

i have no more tears...for all now become silent tears...but im glad ..all my family unite as one ...once more & realise each other responsibilities towards "my world" again. lets say if i were to lose her....only GOD knows how i felt...i cant describe...for ive never faced death of a beloved before. my mom is my world!!!!!!!!!!!

what i can do now is to pray ...wish her best of health...& for her to secure a place she deserve in the path to GOD...

blog..im really afraid....really am.....tears kept rolling by....

my noor give me a great dose of encouragement...for me to remain strong....path to GOD....

all i hope for rite now....for times to be as normal...i want my cheerful..mum...back again...but i can only dare to hope...& pray...

full of grief

2004-06-26T21:10:00.000+08:00

dear blog

another week has gone pass. tdy is saturday. waiting for pay day. so many errands i need to do once i get my pay. pay bills...trim my hair..pluck my eyebrow..buy my toiletries...sigh...most important to see a DOCTOR for my prolong pain of migraine attacks.

sigh tdy suppose to be a relaxing day yet i stay in bed like salted veggie, u noe salted cai xin..those u eat with porridge. then my migraine came again...not giving me peace of mind...i vomit..i look like a pc of sh*t. really sucks big time. also i've received my entry proof for my retaking of my o level exams. my oral malay somewhere next week. feel like butterflies in the stomache.

reason for retaking, i've been wanting to do journalism & teaching for yrs now. eng has always been my passion but failing my fav subject @ that time really tore me apart..disappoint my eng teacher! i must proof something worth for myself, i can't let myself down. if i cant admit myself in NIE then @ least i can apply for diploma in early childhood, can teach preschoolers...insyaallah dgn izin NYA dan ketekunan kita...

tdy my nephew creates prob again, pick up smoking..becoming more rebellious, his age is only 13..mixing with wrong company. seeing that happen wif my sisters kids...i realize that raising a child is nvr an easy task for a parent. but we can't depend on our parents all the time, we must make use of our brain & think of what's best for us...children nowadays always misuse parents trust..sigh...ive been there & done that..and i realize...

love

sigh....my bf is always sleeping all the time till i dont have time to talk to him. is it because of the EURO 2004? work? sigh..i don't know.......

sicky..........

2004-06-23T11:02:00.000+08:00

dear blog

guess wat i've had a rough nite. was awaken by my worst ever migraine attacks again. This time 3 o'clock. I can't stand the pain that i woke my mum up to seek some comfort. Well my mum knows best, she gave me a neck massage ...then i took my sis migraine pills then abt half an hour later it subsides. Finally i manage to get my sleep, but before that i thank my mum for the pain relieving massage. Feel bad for waking her up but its too painful. Friends advise me to go doc, but i hate going doc and having to eat medicine but do i have a choice? maybe i will pay the doc a visit either tonite or during weekend. I wonder issit due to stress? lack of sleep? or poor diet or it cud be all dat ive mentioned! oh dear....

work

today not so much work. They call me Lara Croft juz because i tie up my hair into plaits. Hahaha..my colleagues sure there's something to comment. Cheeky bunch

home

nothing much happen lately. same old stuff. Just kinda worry for my niece. I juz hope she can see that what we trying to curb is for her own gd, especially when dealing with guys. She's pretty naive..seems all advice falls on deaf ears. Dun wanna her waste her youth & regret in the future. Sigh....

yesterday's update

nothing much went to town with my bf. Then we went to Topman, guess what i force him to try a shirt which i cast my eyes on, its so called mod fitting, well it looks extremely great on him but it costs a hefty amt of S$109. Hmmmmm...he says he needs to shed some kilos on his ab before he can wear that shirt....weewiitttt..way to go Noor....hahaha

ok lar need to start back to work again..will update ya if there's something new....

2004-06-21T13:00:00.000+08:00

dear blog,

today im back to work again, its a MONDAY. My mondays always didnt turn great as i wish it to be, First of all, that stupid so called MIGRAINE come & bother me in the middle of night? morning around 2am, it felt so terrible, i woke up frantically look for medicine but in the end..End up with painkillers which i took from my dad's room..i ate 2 of those than rub some axe oil to my forehead. it lasted abt 1hr + before it subsides...i finally manage to sleep ard 3++...sigh...

work

go to work with "the face", my colleague christina says that my lips look like sausages!! aiyoh...its monday eh ..yeah got to admit that i got thick lips..worst when i have ulcers in all corners of my mouth. Poor me i cant eat my fav stuff but i still go ahead eating mee goreng..so hungry..cant help it..my working plc got not much variety..so boring!!

love

sigh...happiness mingled wif sadness.
after the discovery of my relationship with Noor, it was a great start. My mother is able to accept him now..now i can use the home phone to communicate, i think my mum is slowly accepting the fact that o've got someone. She fear that once i have a companion i will chuck her aside and my love for her is divided, never have i thought about that. well...i juz hope for the best of the relationship. Glad i found Noor for he is always there during bad times..that's why he is my pillar of strength..
We intend to marry next yr ...but ive got no idea how im conveying the msg to my mum as yet..it takes time
I think the strategy now is to keep in "good books" so once get her favour we can tell our sincere thoughts to her...

thoughts

im having an average jane day tdy, with no makeup applied on to work feels like a school girl...hehhehehe...

thinking of the positive things that might happen

2004-06-13T15:14:00.000+08:00

dear blog

phew its been a long time since i've updated my blog. guess been real busy hmmm so where shall i start? personal life? work?

work

nothing much happened, not so busy cause Paul is away for reservist but i've got a feeling things might differ once he is around. A lot of tender is closing and some contractors is asking for a revise pricing.

home

well the gd news is that my mum has discovered my relationship of three years with Mohd Noor. She knows we as a a couple now. but its really not easy, when she stumbles upon our pic (taken at some neo print booth) in my wallet, it feels like my heart stops beating and the world stopped. We argue a little. sad to say its a long story...a real long one.
My mum is still in a state of denial to accept that i have a bf. well i understand her position and both me & my bf is trying our best to get her approval in our union(marriage) in time to come.
I've gone thru a hard time after she discovered abt us. i just hope that she will be able to accept him soon...........

friends

nazrina called me back again and apologize for what she had done to me. I'm so disappointed in her after knowing me for years and yet still dont know what im like and throw me false accusations..sigh...but glad she had realize her mistakes and we both aplogize to each other. Bt it seems like she had changed a lot. She's back to her wild side again, her way of speaking, she took up smoking and clubs again. Guess something is not rite in her personal life. She told me that her fiancee is getting violent day by day...i dont dare to interfere just lend a listening ear.

thoughts

sigh sigh sigh...ok i know that i shouldnt sigh so much. Just take things as it is.

Ok i've got to go and take a short nap, need some beauty sleep...........

2004-05-16T13:24:00.000+08:00

dear blog

its another weekend gone & have not been updating my blog. What can i say? Been busy with my thoughts i guess. this week been a relaxing one with the bosses not around but still have work to be done hahaha but im taking my own phase to complete them.

2004-05-06T20:33:00.000+08:00

dear blog

another week has past by, eyes wink open eyes wink close tomorrow is friday. What can i put for today's entry, let me think a while. Maybe topic for this week is depressed. restless, tired, fed-up i think all this adds up to a derpressing week. ok let's start the blog running....

work
is always the trend working for tenders whereby the sales executive will rush you to type the compliance and prepare the tons of submittals for a particular project & u spend the whole night typing in small fonts 20 front & back odd pages that seems never ending and after the hard work, they came back to me and say the dateline has been extended...sigh damn shucks!! big time i guess but also glad i manage to finish it earlier just that the urgency that they made me into..really drove me mad @ times. i still need to prepare yet for another tender closing tomorrow but lucky me i've prepared all the materials beforehand. no such much in a hurry. but still got mails to clear that i chuck in the drawer..oh yeah i know irresponsible act of me, purchase orders have yet to process...hmmm my boyfriend says i really need to take a break ..may be i should eh. maybe i can opt for time off and roam some where about..to get peace of mind and energize my inner soul. but glad tomorrow is friday!!! looking forward for the bosses to go outstation........can have fun .......

homesame old stuff, routine life as the youngest daughter in the family.

private life
nothing much to update just that i met my boyfriend for movie marathon yesterday. Watch Kill Bill Vol 2 & Dawn of the Dead. My boyfriend, Noor..what can i say about him? he is totally supportive of what i do & what i should do. About our planned marriage for next year, meeting my siblings & parents in june & dec. Just wondering whats the outcome gonna be. at times i worry too much of what the outcome to be maybe i born a worrier, admire my bf's perspective & calm approach in life also matters in regards of me hehehe...he knows how to play the cards well. what can i say...glad to have met him...
oh yeah he treat me to good food yesterday ...yum yum teriyaki chicken pasta...yum yum
he manage to get his old job again...alhamdullilah ..wish him all the best in what he does...

thought of the day
when you need someOne when ur depressed, turn to no one but HE who creates us human beings. Insyaallah HE will show the way....

2004-04-30T21:17:00.000+08:00

dear blog

cant believe its already end of the week ...friday ..the day working people looking forward to. But glad for those working on saturday its LABOUR DAY, enjoy!
last week and this week is really been a busy like a bee week with so many tender submittals but glad manage to finish on mon/tuesday. Then relaxing week throughout. lets see whats the entry for this week.

work
nothing much now. its alex last day as an assistant project manager, not going to see him again. funny thing is he leaves silently without saying goodbye to anyone maybe he's awkward. Rachel went for her checkup today and discover its a baby girl, she's so happy. i just hope all the best to her and her baby.
winnie? she's been getting more friendlier as days goes by, i think she should keep up that approachable kind of attitude. The good thing about work today is that both our sales & finance director is outstation. its like a holiday hahahahahah

home
my mum gets infected with some skin itchiness on her skin. Her skin became scaly and rashes starts to form lucky she gets medical attention fast so that it won't spread to other parts of her body.

private life
my one and only beloved bf. he went for the second interview earlier and confirm he gets the job but have yet to sign any black & white letter. i just hope all goes well for him. oh yeah i forgot to share one cute tiff that we had. i met him on tuesday for a movie then at night i call him again whether he wants to meet me the next day. then he gets agitated and starts to raise his voice and say things that can be not pleasant to the ears. i sleep not feeling gd that night. but sun is shining brightly when he called me next morning to apologise and came to a compromise. lucky to have him in my life, just hoping he will be there now & then. funny thing is i'm sensitive while he is hot tempered...how does this 2 characters mix...hahahah

movie updates
i've watch 50 first dates, and i think its worth watching. the pairing of adam & drew is great, the show full of witty quirks and stupid act by rob scheneider sums up to a great date movie. but i kinda dont like the ending. hehehehhehe

thought of the day
sometimes we have to make sacrifices to obtain for the better in what life has to offer.......

ps: thinking of my noor

2004-04-24T18:35:00.000+08:00

today

dear blog

today i got to come to work again to finish the unfinished workload left behind yesterday evening. sigh so many tender submittals for the past few weeks. hope they get the mullion dollar deal then i can get to reap the rewards as well. well my sales director was around, paul, pasha, jeffrey...then i was about to go home saw ed..then he tease me abt me coming to work on a saturday...hahah they are very bad...but i got a free breakfast courtesy from paul...hehehehe

after work i went over to visit my best fren who juz gave birth last sat..noor wiyah..her house at jurong east..went there with my bf, azlinah & her bf. so 4 of us went. glad that wiyah had received the hamper from both me & my bf and she really like it. her baby is so cute ...its a baby boy name Muhammad Danial..wanna say he resembles her mother..also look like the father..but still early to say juz few days old. but danial is so cuteeeeeeeeeee. had fun there ....but the father of the baby is missing ..work.
as for azlinah, finally i manage to get up close and personal with her bf ...hmmm nothing to say...as long she's happy with her choice..but the contrast is very big..in terms of age, physical appearance..but she seems happy so i share her joy. hahaha the funny thing is she was both pressured by both wiyah & me for her to get married first before me...as fer me wiyah is looking fwd to attend my wedding...well....only will tell.....

yesterday

dear blog

i was so busy yesterday i got no time to add entry fer the day.
it was another shitty day...pressured by so many workload more than i can handle then i had a tiff wif my mum abt money. sigh....the things she said...well its very hurting ...though i didnt take it too hard..she always sprout negative things when she's angry...so i juz keep quiet.

i didnt went home i stay late do work then i went back...around 8++ reach home around 9++. but glad enough we have a heart to heart talk ( both me & my mum ) then she said she didnt meant what she said..juz that she felt crappy. then everything is back to normal again......

thought of the day: babies are so cute.....its how much a mother would sacrifice to give birth and look after one child is really a task..dats needs committment...courage and sheer determination.

missing my noor now and always...

2004-04-20T20:55:00.000+08:00

dear BLOG

yesterday
i was off to work but took half day as my colleagues urge me to see a doctor as my rashes is not getting any better. all are sweet being very concerned abt me. dats wat i like my work place, a close knit relationship among other colleagues but when there's too much workload all the 'sweetness' GONE into the thin air hahahhaa....
thought of going for my practical class but i overslept all due to the medicine i took. so in the end i stay home and be a couch potato.
nothing much on tv...but was eager to know who's gonna make it for EYE FOR A GUY..kinda got a soft spot for Mark ...cute. rachel should go fer him....
america's top model>>>i think adrienne can make it she got the look wow!

today
come back to the office with so many papers strewn carelessly on my table...with the look of a glance my eyebrows starts to meet each other..but dats work rite? sigh. another day ..with so much work.
but lucky me today i manage to get the job done to my own phase not in the URGENT mode again. thank GOD. happy news...i got back my pc ...oh dear pc....i dun need to pc hopping again. yeah yeah yeah yeah.

hmm so much abt work place...lets touch on current affairs hahaha...yeah but abt the nicoll highway collapse. my kak yan was extremely worried fer me...i give her a call assuring her im safe as im still at work..same goes fer my frantic mum...was so worried....hahahha....insyaallah GOD is there to look upon me.

did not went to school tdy as..there's no class....

thinking abt my NOOR all the time...

2004-04-17T12:18:00.000+08:00

dear BLOG

spend the day lazing ard ...saturday ....missing my noor ...

woke up receive a called from my best buddy of 11 years almost..Noor Wiyah...she sounded casual..." Eh i gave birth yesterday nite"....i was like stun...then i ask her u sure not hahahha....coz she said her baby due end apr....its a baby boy...felt happy fer her...im sure she will make a great parent...beautiful mum & handsome dad....proud parent of a baby boy..have yet to ask her the baby name coz she gt a lot of calls to make. hahaha she sound excited..may be wednesday visit her .....cant wait to see the baby ....babies....i love babies.....hmmmm

oh dear...my rashes have spread to my neck down to my chest....red patches starts to appear.....feel my body so hot .....to my ears..so not going anywhr in this kinda weather .....it sure gonna itch again ....stay home & be a gd gal....

wats to update?........not yet .......

missing my one & only NOOR

2004-04-16T13:10:00.000+08:00

Dear Blog

tdy is a worst day fer all days ....and it happens to be a friday ...feel like crying out loud why everything muz be me????????? im talking abt at work ....ive got so many things dats due & yet some inconsiderate human insist and asking me abt her assignment given to me. cant she herself witness with her own eyes dat im very occupied....i feel dat i cant breathe either .....already tight wif Purchase Orders..then submittals..still i got to call some more tenderer's list which is nvr ending ....sighhhhhhhhhhh while she shake legs ...im refering to the sales & marketing coordinator lar who is my snr..jzu coz shes snr doesnt mean she can order any1 around ...i feel i cant take it anymore at times...with my workload and school work ....its really hard to juggle both ....may be i shud give up one ..........sighhhhhhhhhhh real tired ....

at home tired also nvr ends.....got so many responsibilities .burdens........really feel like crying now...really need some break i guess....but wat to do ...i still need to finish wat ever is not finished now....later they gonna start chasing me ..lindah this lindah that ....after a while again ...lindah this and lindah that .....feel so damn sian .....

this very moment..needs my one and only NOOR

2004-04-15T13:25:00.000+08:00

hi again...blogger im back to work ...feel so alive yet so busy argghhh lotsa work
let me recap wats been happening lately yeah ....

y'day movie HELLBOY was not bad at all ...i was expecting a rather lame movie but it proves to me its worth the bucks....i think its gonna be a successful follower of X-MEN like kinda franchise movie. lotsa new movies dats worth watching bt got no time and $ hehehehe....i love movies man hehehe

feel like lazy to go class....its dat feeling of coming to a weekend usually ....sigh

at work so busy take time to relax during lunch time & do my entry fer tdy's blog. So many Purchase Orders then got to rush fer Cute KakaK Tender Submittals tomorrow ..dear dear.....so hard lar pc hopping ...run here & run there ..in need of a pc ...poor me dun ya tink ? arrghhhhhh

y'day my bf receive a call from his ex company i hope he gets the job...he's been dying to get out of his current job. He can relax more and spend more time wif me hopefully hahaha...which i doubt so coz we both gt tight schedules...so maybe still stick to the once a week date.....sob sob

my mum's health is getting on fine day by day ...i juz hope things will be back to normal again. she deserved happiness ...

ok got to go type Purchase Order before someOne starts asking me for it ....chiaoooo

missing my one and only NOOR this very moment..wondering if he's thinking of me too

2004-04-14T16:33:00.000+08:00

hi its another day gone by sigh....its wednesday & im spending the day at home down wif my skin allergy again not knowing wat im allergic to? went to the doc y'day nite & gave me some med wif some creme ...so this morning the rashes was gone ...the med this time is better than the previous week prescribed by the other doc. so..stay home...wanna to hook on the net yet my attempts failed ...not enuf wif a shitty pc @ work @ home i encounter the same prob too??? arrghhhhhhh rite now im using my sista's laptop to key in my tdys journal entry...shucks big time .......

tdy i manage to get hold of aini my buddy from the same building im werking in..i tot she avoiding since the day she resigned..but shes down wif depression she said & due to her pregnancy she been sleeping like a log ...doing her housework she says like a maid ..poor gal...now she's expecting 5 mths already..wif her third child...no idea if its a gal or boy....she going fer a scan s'time dis week.

wats my plan tdy???? hmmm evening going out later to meet hero ( my bf ) maybe watch movie...Hellboy? wonder if its worth the bucks...got to check it out ...

*scratching my face* oh dear the itch is back again better go get some med....but im afraid halfway thru the movie i fall asleep hehehehe

hmm wat else to update yeah?....ermmm nothing much ....still got a lot to learn wat to put in my blog....add music...pics...moods....nani been helping me a lot...shes kewl!!!

last but not least thinking of my one and only NOOR...

2004-04-13T11:49:00.000+08:00

Hmm im back again on a tuesday afternoon..sigh ....wat to update ...so many things happen in so little time.
Been bz until got no time to update my blog at all .
1st of all at WORK, my dat damn shitty pc ..is incurable oh dearrrrrr, got to send to the factory to change the motherboard dats how bad the condition is now. poor me got to pc hop to do my work. hope once its back...everythg will resume to normal again.

At home??? nothing much my mum been not doing well lar ...been sicky at one time being ok at one time her sickness is very unpredictable got to be on guard all the time ..hehe may be she nag too much

Abt my bf? haha nothing new. we been making plans fer our big day. gonna be a surprise..
been to the wedding extravanganza last sat phewwww so many beautiful things to see...to like ..to agree upon...but got to choose wisely fer our wedding so doesn't exceeds the budget. Hmmm s'times i feel i cant meet the targeted amt to help my bf...but i will try my best ...due to the many commitments dat ive to endured and carry on my shoulders....may be its a test of strength...faith & loyalty. Glad i've got a very understanding bf .....juz hope wat we dreamt of will come true....there's still so many challenges we got to face ahead....juz hope my bf get the job he desired....

last but not least..i juz hope my mum will get her dreams fulfilled...she's happy im share her joy....

thinking of my one and ONLY NOOR...

2004-04-06T11:54:00.000+08:00

hello im back again...to update my blog. y'day got no time to log in with my pc being attacked the TROJAN virus...shit i cant do a shitty thing at all on the damn pc...but i try to keep cool....tdy now?? oh im using my colleague;s pc ..poor me....indulge in self pity..sob sob
let me see wats been happening lately...ermm....oh yeah sun was my dad's big day ....it marked his 70th presence on earth ...wat a term to describe ...hehe bad daughter eh me ...its my dad's birthday..all my 4 brothers & 4 sisters came with their kids....the house was upside down wif running & screaming kids....women were kept bz at the kitchen ....heheh..including myself ok....lotsa wonderful ..food to feast on yum yum not to mention dat wonderful self made by my sister in law...i give the cake 5 stars........hehehe...my dad must be happy to see his children had grown ...up ...ok enuf of dat

Tdy i went for NKF health screening .......yeah im healthy...but was wondering y i grow shorter...by 2 cm hahah...impossible...have i shrunk hahah....

lets countdown...2 more days to go ...to FRIDAY....
saturday i tink im going to Singapore Expo ...got the wedding extravanganza...i tink so ...hehe juz go take a look mah who noes...when the time comes...everythg juz at my fingertips....

Well...thinking abt marriage....lotsa my buddies...shud be in labour soon...haha..when its my turn .....no idea...hahaha..i love kids....juz wait fer the big day....

Rite now...been bz wif studies lar....gt to get gd grades....sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh...juz @ times...feel so tired...but its the rewards i gonna reap in future i looking & waiting for.............

u noe wat...i tot of wat to wear already to meet him tomorrow...then he say meet saturday.....sigh...ok then so be it ..........so fickle minded ....

missing my one and only NOOR at this very moment...now..tomorrow & then.........

2004-04-02T14:50:00.000+08:00

Yeah finally its FRIDAY to mark its end of the week...and the weekend is ushering its way in. Now im at work lar counting down time till 6pm on the dot. Pitter patter pitter patter...followed by sounds of thunder occassionally....how i wish im at home nw...lying on my bed...wif my mum & cat beside me ..and snore till sat ....i muz be one lazy bone eh
At this moment also im thinking ....lotsa things on my mind...still cant manage to find the solutions to my puzzles...which ive had since young...arrghhh i will try to put it behind me fer a while ...till it emerges again...then i critically gt to find a solution again.....sighhhh
oh dear ...my dad's birthday is fast approaching ...its sunday...wat shud i do tomorrow yeah? oh go to the market wif my mum...get some fresh prawns...& other necessity ...i love going to the wet market...the hustle bustle of it all ....juz hate the body contacts though & the "smell" of???? b.o lar hahaha....yeah yeah to market to market ....
till then ...@ this very moment im missing ...him....my one and only NOOR...

2004-04-01T10:12:00.000+08:00

Its the start of another brand new day, but hey its Thursday. Looking forward to the weekend to bum around but i doubt i can ..its my father's birthday. Oh Dear! The house gonna be full of running kids...noise..bt once in a while shud be ok i guess...ermm
Still feeling tired after yesterday night adventure @ Marina Bay..me wif my bf ...nonetheless its fun.
Hmm embarking on a new day is always what i look forward to not knowing wats in store fer me?..surprises? despair? shock? stress?...but dats life isnt..it....
Hello Friday........

2004-03-31T17:56:00.000+08:00

Hi again...it seems im taking baby steps to create a blog fer myself..wudn't been able to create one without the help of Nani some1 i get to know from AM. Shes very helpful....juz wanna say thanks to her .....

but i still got a lot to learn ...sigh....small step at a time ....

2004-03-23T08:50:00.000+08:00

hey im now a blogger,..a newbie in this ....sigh,...